Why People Who Text Constantly Still Don't Feel Close

Over the past five years, we've been asking people a simple question: does using Marco Polo (instead of texting) actually help people feel closer?

We recruited hundreds of people who were already in close relationships — friends who text constantly, siblings in different cities, parents and adult children staying connected. We asked them to replace their texting with Marco Polo for two weeks. No scheduling required, just record and watch whenever.

Here's what happened.

The Problem We've All Accepted

Before the study started, we asked people about their relationships. The responses were surprisingly consistent:

• 68% have lost touch with friends or family who live far away
• 51% say their circle of close friends is smaller than it was a few years ago
• 43% feel less connected to their circle than they used to

The gap that stood out most: only 11% said they feel "extremely close" to their friends and family, while 46% said that's how close they want to feel.

Most people described this like it's just how things are now. Friends move. Life gets busy. You drift apart. That's normal, right?

As one person put it: "We text constantly but never actually SEE each other."

But it doesn't have to be.

Why Video Calls Are Hard

We also asked about communication preferences. Video was rated as the most emotionally connecting form of remote communication — ahead of texting, phone calls, and everything else.

But when we asked how often people actually use video, the numbers dropped off. The reasons were predictable:

• "I want to see the people I love more often, but video calls don't fit easily into my day" (58% agree)
• Scheduling is too hard
• Both people need to be free at the same time
• Need privacy, need to look presentable
• Feels like a whole production

So people default to texting. And texting doesn't really feel like staying close.

What Happened When People Tried Marco Polo

Across all five years of studies, we found the same pattern:

87% of participants said using Marco Polo instead of texting made them feel closer to their communication partner.

This shift wasn't immediate. The first few days involved some awkwardness — getting used to being on video, figuring out when to record. But after about a week, something clicked. People consistently told us they appreciated the closeness Marco Polo created compared to other ways of staying in touch. By the end of two weeks, over half said they planned to keep using it.

Beyond feeling closer, participants reported better moods while using Marco Polo compared to their baseline throughout the day. And when we looked at the aggregate results, satisfaction with communication nearly doubled (from 23.5% rating it at the highest level to 43.7%).

The Surprising Part

Most people assume being on video would be more stressful than texting. You have to think about how you look, where you are, whether you're presentable.

But participants consistently reported the opposite: Marco Polo created less anxiety than texting.

When asked about waiting for responses:

• Less anxiety with Marco Polo than texts
• Less anxiety than email
• Less anxiety than messaging apps

Why? Several people explained it in their video responses:

"You don't have to guess the emotion... You're not guessing or feeling anxious about it."

"It's video which feels more intimate but also like a text message where you can send or watch asynchronously."

"It was easier to fit into our schedule and also made us feel more connected than purely text-based communication."

People also reported feeling better while using Marco Polo than during their typical day. The difference wasn't dramatic, but it was consistent starting about a week in.

There's another factor people kept mentioning: you see the real context of someone's life. Their messy kitchen. Their dog wandering through the frame. Their kid interrupting. The pile of laundry in the background. Instead of making people self-conscious, this environmental context made them feel more connected. You weren't just hearing what someone was saying — you were seeing their actual life. You can just be yourself in your own space, whatever your day looks like, and send that to someone on your own time.

Texting, by contrast, carries its own pressures. You reduce complex feelings to "iykyk" or pick the right emoji. You craft the message. There are read receipts, double-text anxiety, the "sorry for the delay!" apology economy. With Marco Polo, you can see tone and intention immediately. No guessing whether someone is upset or just busy.

Who It Actually Works For

The research showed clear patterns about when Marco Polo worked best:

Long-distance relationships

• Friends who moved away
• Siblings in different cities
• Grandparents and grandkids

"My sister moved away and we barely talk" was a common trigger for trying it.

Busy schedules that don't align

• Different time zones
• Parents with young kids
• Work schedules that make scheduling impossible

As multiple people said: "We keep trying to FaceTime but it never works out."

People who were drifting apart

• Friends who used to be close
• Family members who'd fallen out of touch
• Relationships where texting just wasn't cutting it anymore

"I miss actually seeing my friends" — and being able to show them things, not just describe them. People mentioned showing garden updates, giving office tours, sharing reactions to good news in real time.

One participant said: "We talked more in these two weeks than we had in months using any other method."

The Research in Context

This wasn't a one-time study. We've run this same methodology five times between 2020 and 2025:

• 387 total participants
• Demographically diverse (ages 25-45, various backgrounds)
• None had used Marco Polo before participating
• Required to use it as primary communication for 14 days
• Daily surveys plus video reflections

The pattern held across all five years: people consistently felt closer, reported higher satisfaction, and said they'd continue using it after the study ended.

What This Means

If you have someone you care about who you text a lot but rarely actually see or talk to, using Marco Polo instead will probably make you feel closer to them.

It works because:

• No scheduling required
• Watch and respond whenever
• See facial expressions and tone (no guessing)
• Can show things, not just describe them
• Be yourself in your own space — no need to perform or reduce feelings to emoji
• Feels more personal than text without the pressure of a live call

It's not a replacement for everything. You'll still text for quick logistics. You'll still do live calls when you need real-time decisions.

But for staying connected to people you care about when life gets busy and you're in different places, the research shows it makes a measurable difference.